I am a 26 year old mother of 6 children (2 by my ex and 4 with my current fiance). I had a very stable upbringing that came with all the necessities of life, nothing fancy, but definitely comfortable, atleast until things started to get rocky with mine and my mothers relationship when i was about 15. Im not going to say I was perfect, but I was an all around good kid. I received honor roll every marking period, wasnt in to drinking or drugs (though I will admit I did try drinking and weed just to try to see what the hype was about), and never went anywhere except occaisonal sleep overs and birthday partys with close friends. My mom didnt seem to want to believe any of that and had convinced her self that I was always up to no good, contantly making accusations, causing us to begin butting heads, which led to her giving me til 8pm, 3 days after my 18th birthday to pack up and get out of her house. So with $2500 in savings, and no job because she wouldnt let me get one at home, I was cast out into a world that I had pretty much been sheltered from the harsh realities of my whole life. I ended up in a run down motel, paying $150 a week, with bugs running around that I had never even seen, and no idea how or where to use public transportation, to even begin attempting to get my life on track. This was the beginning mark of this rollercoaster that I have come to call life! To tell the story of the last 8 1/2 years of my life would require a novel that would surely keep you on the edge of your seat, but I continue to keep my faith in GOD and keep my head held high because HE has never let me down. HE may not always give me what I want, but HE has continued to prove HIMSELF there for me eveytime I need HIM the most.
My fiance was raised in an almost exactly opposite lifestyle, in and out of shelters, motel rooms, foster homes, and even sleeping on park benches, because his parents chose to drink their lives away instead of caring for their children. When I met him, he was rough around the edges, and carried a pain in his heart that will never go away, but I fell in love with the goodness and kindness that I found deep inside him. A kindness that we both share, that seems to be our greatest downfall. Everytime we get ourselves back on our feet we seem to end up taking care of everybody but ourselves. Usually its some or most of his family, who put a burden on him and make him feel responsible for them. Other times it was people that we had at one point considered "friends". Everytime we move into a new place, they end up movin themselves in, not helping with rent or bills, damaging our property, or just causing complete chaos. They've even gone as far as breaking into our house after we told them to leave, and leaving us with $9,000 dollars worth of damages, telling him he's no longer considered part of the family, and his mother stabbing him through his lung, just missing his heart on Thanksgiving morning 2 years ago, which has completly messed him up emotionally.
Ater dealing with this at 2 houses, and when we were down afterwards, finding that there was nobody willing to be there for us, we realized that us and and our children were the only "friends" and "family" we truely had. We decided that even though the bible basically states to give to those what they ask of and more, that if it was hurting our children and causing their life to be unstable, that we could no longer do it, because we are responsible for them and their life, and they must always come first. So now, we find ourselves in a position where we just cant seem to get back on our feet. We our currently staying in a motel, paying $250 a week, and come this saturday, as of right now we dont have enough money to pay for another week. We are both currently looking for jobs, but the economy is rough. My last job I was let go of because my manager lied about me to the store owner, because her daughter decided she "didnt like me" because she felt threatened by me in more words or less. I was nothing but friendly to her, but it became a personal issue because there were talks of making me manager when I first started, because of my qualifications, and she had been there for a year and was hoping for that position. My fiance is starting a job search program funded by the state tomorrow, but that still doesnt keep this roof over our head come saturday.
My kids are my whole life. I would be lost without them. My two oldest are staying with my mom right now, and shes making sure that they are taken care of, and get to school everyday, but if we cant figure out something, my 4 youngest will go to the state, because I have no one that can take them. We are so desperate right now for a miracle, just something to give us a little boost in the right direction until we can handle it ourselves. I have been experiencing extreme pain in my back and other parts of my body, as well as headaches, depression, anxiety, and multiple other symptoms that have been confusing my doctor for months now, and have added more stress to the situation, and made some days almost unbarebly hard to make it though. My doctor finally just informed me after some tests that I have tested positive for lupus, which would explain the majority of my symptoms. It is a blessing to finally know what is wrong, but at the same time, its more that I now know I have to face everyday, especially considering that stress makes my symptoms worse.
IF ANYBODY HAS ANY SUGGESTIONS, ADVICE, OR ANY LITTLE THING THEY THINK COULD HELP, EVEN JUST KEEPING US IN YOUR PRAYERS FOR THE WELL BEING OF OUR CHILDREN, AND THE STRENGTH TO MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS DAY BY DAY, IT WOULD BE SO GREATLY APPRECIATED. ESPECIALLY ANY ADVICE ON HOW TO COME UP WITH ENOUGH MONEY (LEGALLY) IN THE NEXT 4 DAYS TO KEEP A ROOF OVER OURS AND OUR CHILDRENS HEADS!
